我的同学卡门小姐是一位资深的律师助理，晚上学习的时候，莫名其妙意外发现网上关于中国“二奶”现象的文章，今天见了我第一件事用英语说“红，你知道中国的"ernai"吗？也许她的发音有问题，我没有听明白，于是她从网上把文章秀出来给我看，我终于明白了她说的什么了。

笔者没有想到，网上有那么多的关于“二奶”的英文文章，而且还把”二奶“的汉语拼音直接写在那儿，看来“ernai"这词很快成为或者已经成为了英语的外来语了，这让我哭笑不得。卡门不仅看了一篇关于“二奶”的文章，google一下，居然有若干篇。

于是，我从1949年之前言简意赅地陈述，那时的社会男女不平等，有钱有势的男人都要讨多个老婆，那时合法。但1949年以后，毛泽东主席领导的新中国摈弃了那些糟粕，一夫一妻制才是合法。

而且，从1949年至少到1996年我出国之前，中国的社会算是个崇尚道德的社会，个人私生活是否检点直接影影一个人的事业和社会地位。

但是从九十年代开始，富裕起来的中国人顶不住诱惑，出现了“婚外情”“包二奶、甚至三奶的现象”。我直接了当地告诉卡门还有其他几个凑过来的同学说，那绝对是不健康的事情，是中国开放以后所必需承受的弊端。也许这一话题太有“世界性”了。

有些来自别的国家，有的就是土生土长的美国人纷纷加入了这个话题，他们说，美国人也有人产生“婚外情”的，多交女朋友之类的事情，但多数人都小心翼翼，生怕自己的原配或者社会知道，尚且也认为是不道德的事情。可是，相对我们的同胞，有的人似乎把这当成炫耀的资本了，不觉“羞耻”。

网上的英文文章还指出最早是台湾的商人到上海后，绝大多数在当地包了“二奶”，之后，大陆的有钱人也开始“包”。

而且，英文的文章还指出愿意当二奶的多数都是“好吃懒做”“不劳而获”的年轻、漂亮的女子。也许，她们出生贫穷，急于改善生存现状。

但是，无论怎样，对于我这个七十年代初出生，受过正统教育的中国人来说，我都没有办法理解她，甚至是厌恶那些个明知道对方有太太、有孩子，不惜一切手段破坏别人家庭的女性。

当然，那些个抛弃妻子的男人也应该受到道德法庭的审判或者惩罚。我告诉卡门还有其他同学，美国人总是说“中国威胁论”，事实上，中国的劳工都是外国公司的廉价劳动力，中国工人所赚到的很少，是那些个政客们、投资人、中间人得了好处后，又来叫嚣中国威胁云云。

殊不知，中国在发展的过程中，牺牲了多少优良的东西。我个人最最不能接受“道德沦丧”的祖国，也不接受二奶现象、妓女现象。那些个女人、男人都应该接受道德、法律的审判。

依我来看，改革开放这么多年，我们国家的确是在国际社会改善了贫穷的形象，可是高涨的物价却是我不敢认同的。

十几年前，我才工作不久好像都能逛得起的商厦，如今进去后拔腿就逃，因为里面的商品居然全部是五位数人民币以上的。难道是我这个“外来者”发展速度太慢？令我赶不上我们的国家进步的步伐了。

好多周遭的海外华人好像都有同感。贫富悬殊太大了。此外，我们的乱砍乱伐、食品问题、环境问题、教育问题、道德理念都需要改善和加强，否则一切都是虚的。

（以下是笔者找到的一篇关于“情妇”的文章）

China’s economic boom has turned the ancient role of the concubine into a lucrative career option. There is An online Chinese second-wife ‘contract’, posted at www.timesonline.co.uk and which I found these words very disturbing, what this world is turning into, the contract read,

dream of a concubine by Vanessa

The master primarily wants the second wife to provide him with sex and face. The second wife primarily wants the master to provide her with a luxurious lifestyle. Both sides have an obligation to behave with decorum toward each other in public places, so as to win the respect of other people.

Sometimes the ernai’s clothing should be extremely provocative sexually, and sometimes it should be refined and elegant, in order to make other men jealous of the master. The ernai must wear high-class, well-known designer clothing and shoes. She is not permitted to use fake luxury goods.
 

The ernai will provide the master all varieties of sex. The ernai agrees to have intercourse three times a day, or two hours of enjoyment in bed. Whether they kiss is up to the ernai. No ernai should ever employ any behavior that would damage a man’s self-esteem, such as suggesting he ‘does not cut it’.

It’s very common in Thailand and Laos for men to have a second wife, or ‘mear noy’, but just didn’t expect to hear about it in China of all places, but then again it might make sense because there’s fewer women than men, according to economic point of view, then it’s the law of supply and demand. According to this article, having a second wife is a status symbol and it explains,But everyone who has ever lived in China knows the expression for “second wife”. And most people know at least one ernai personally. Ernai are a modern version of concubines, as common as colds. They are women kept in luxury apartments and goods by married lovers – mostly overseas businessmen and officials but, increasingly, by men at every level of society. The most successful kept women represent entrepreneurs of a sort, floating in a sink-or-swim economy and providing enticing models for what the new China can offer: genuine Prada stilettos, diamonds, iPods and sprawling villas. They work out in the swankiest health clubs, drive Minis, BMWs and Audis, and carry lapdogs in Gucci handbags. They have role models more glamorous than those of most aspiring careerists.

And yet, like women everywhere who trade sex for money, ernai are vulnerable to abuse, unprotected by degrees, careers, or backup plans, and often deserted in their thirties. An increasing number of notable ernai now lead lives complicated by corruption and scandal. They are forbidden by law but flaunted in practice, socially both celebrated and condemned, just as concubines have always been.

In the US, a mistress should be a well-kept secret. In most of Europe, she should be kept with discretion. In China, the keepers of ernai get not only the service but also the face (maintaining face, or an unchallenged public persona, is seen as hugely significant). In a second wife’s lifestyle is a reflection of her master’s capacity to spend. Her beauty is a testament to his taste, her role both public and private.

In other words, ernai are both the objects of free-choice attraction, and yet are still engaged in a transactional relationship. If a woman gets only gifts, she may just be a mistress, but if those gifts are given immediately after service, she’s halfway to being an ernai. If actual cash changes hands, she’s formally an ernai. Perhaps predictably, the lines are not always clearly drawn. Some women, Huang says, do it just for money, others for love, and most for a combination of the two.

I know there are mistress ‘second wife’ in China or anywhere in the world but didn’t expect that it’d be something to be proud of by both party. It’d be too long to post the rest of the article, but if you’re interested in reading the rest of ‘Wife Sentence’, here is the LINK, the rest of the article is very interesting.

李红，美国北京联合会副会长及中国侨联海外青年委员。曾任职北京电视台、美国18台还有凤凰卫视美洲台。本文观点仅代表作者。